all I wanted.

The reason to be suicidal:

When I was rushing through the project, Dad said, "Sarah looked photogenic when she was younger, especially when she was slimmer." Initially, I didn't care about what he said. Not after when he started to give me THAT SMILe*. It meant that I've put on weight. Fuck. Okay. I hate it when he has to compare my previous looks with the current looks. Speaking of which, Im reminded of prom night. Dad reminded me to watch my diet. Urgh. I mean, am I really fat? Did I really put on weight? Im really saddened by the fact that my own father hated the way I look now. & when he said I looked photogenic, it meant that I don't look good in reality. Is that what you're trying to mean? What the fuck. I can't eat in peace. FINE! You want to see the freaking skinny me? I'll do it. I can be extreme if you want me to do it!

On a lighter note, I've submitted PBL to Mel. Ah. A relief.

The perfect words never crossed my mind cause there was nothing but YOU